Just Numbers?

Just Numbers?

I've always collected little notes
jewelry, personal letters
memories of memories
or just memories
mine or those of
beloved

She used to write down the address number
of relatives
including husband, daughter, brothers and sisters
She used to keep them
with a solid line in one of her notebooks
small entries on charcoal
meant to hold her dearest alive
faraway from oblivion of the
living remnants

It’s hard to know what it means
if you’re not the one searching
among the rests
of hundreds

           you can get lost as in the desert
           holding the weight of years gone by in
           drought and many to come
               s  t  i  l  l
           you could feel the throb below the skin of your throat
           paralyzing
           your mouth glands avoiding lubrication

There is nobody here! Just
unknown, undefined dust scattered in rows of
History, waiting
sometimes decades for tears
to pump their hearts, their home
their present

She was relatively prepared to
take place in her row
she said
I think

Not me, I'm lost
imperiled while I linger among the names in this pale
graveyard.

© 2014, José Eduardo Coelho